Hakunah Matata!

I’m writing this on Saturday evening, 11/11, but I’m not sure if I can get online to post it for a day or two. I’m out of town, with an inconsistent wireless I’net connection in my room.

I have spent the last few days in beautiful Carmel, CA with Dave and my sister, Julie. It’s been glorious, except for some brief blustery weather while we were on our way to the Monterey Bay Aquarium today. It’s odd for me to see pine trees in a coastal environment. To me, pine trees grow in the mountains! But it’s so wonderful to breathe in the lovely, heady pine scent—and not feel short of breath, like I often do in the mountains. Here are some aquarium pictures....

After the Aquarium, Julie treated me and my other sister, Lori, who drove down from San Francisco to be with us for the day, to spa treatments. I had something called La Stone therapy. Ohmigosh, it was incredible!! The stones had been heated all day in 250 degree water, and then they were used in an all-over body massage. Some stones were strategically placed to radiate heat to certain muscles (with a towel between the stone and skin). The masseuse used other stones as part of the massage, moving quickly else the stones would’ve burned. Occasionally she would switch and use cold stones, warning me ahead of time to breathe in deep and breathe out slowly. It was an exhilarating contrast! (No pictures of this event, thankfully!) After fifty minutes of pampering, I could’ve easily slept for hours. But we had dinner reservations and I had to get up…

Boy, there are some good restaurants up here! I’m sure I put on at least a couple pounds. We stayed at Horizon Inn, which Julie found on the Internet. Dave and I had a fireplace in our room, which we used each day. It’s been in the high 50’s, low 60’s for the most part—colder at night. The rain didn’t last too long today; by the time we left the Aquarium, it was clear. Tomorrow we drive home. We’ll eat brunch at yet another great-looking restaurant (Forge in the Forest) and then head out from there. (This picture was at a Mediterranean restaurant called Nico.)

I talked to Breanna today and she was under the weather. A bad cold plus nausea. She was miserable, but had to work ‘till 1 pm anyway. I hope she was able to go home and sleep after that. Earlier this week she seemed fine, at least not sick. She is doing better emotionally, staying more even keel than in the past. She’s working through all sorts of financial problems, such as the broken apartment lease, cell phone overcharges, and health insurance issues. She’s learning quite a lesson about what it takes to live an adult life with adult responsibilities—and it’s only the beginning. She still seems determined to keep the baby, and I still don’t see how she can pull it off. But I guess we’ll all soon find out! The baby’s due in less than three months now. Breanna’s submitted her divorce forms to the base legal counsel, and she says she has cut off all contact with Nick, finally. We still think he’s in Missouri, though it’s just a guess. I wish he’d turn himself in, but I’m sure that’s never going to happen.

In this blog thus far, I don’t think I have mentioned Brenden. Really, if I recorded all we’d been through with him, it would take a whole ‘nother blog! But I’ll just pick things up where they’re at now. He’s 17.5 and headed for high school graduation. He’s at the local public high school, Rancho Buena Vista, which is where he started h.s. four years ago. Midway through his sophomore year, he took a detour and ended up in independent study (courtesy of the country juvenile courts… long story!). But he’s stayed out of trouble, mostly, for the past couple years and he appears to be on track to graduate with his class in June, 2007.

The main reason we think he wanted to go back to public school is because he has a girlfriend there. Kayla is a freshman, and recently turned 15. They’ve actually known each other most of this year, though for several months, Brenden was banned from seeing her by her parents, because of their age difference. Anyway, she’s an interesting girl… wears her hair in a spiked Mohawk most of the time, and dresses in mostly punk-looking clothes that appear as if she’s made them (or pinned them together) herself. Brenden and Kayla seem to really care for each other so we’re trying to be as tolerant as possible. However, we’re also trying to uphold certain house rules and are finding it challenging (keeping the bedroom door open, taking Kayla home at a sensible hour, no co-ed showers… things most reasonable parents would demand, right?!?). We’re watching the calendar and realizing that graduation is quickly approaching. And we’re committed to Brenden moving out right after that. Dave’s convinced that as long as Brenden has access to Hotel Garrison, he will not step up to the plate and learn how to be responsible for himself. It’s probably true. So though I don’t think Bren will be ready, we’ve begun the countdown. Last weekend I had a talk with him to remind him of the plan… “What are you going to do the day after graduation, when you have to move out? Where are you going to live?” He thinks he’ll be able to “stay with friends” until he can get a place of his own. He’s certain that when the time comes, he’ll be able to do what he needs to do to survive. Brenden’s life philosophy seems to be borrowed from The Lion King: “Hakuna Matata!” He doesn’t have much of a college plan. Certainly he’s not interested in any 4-year school. Trade school or community college is a possibility, if he can find a track that interests him. My aim in that talk was to urge him to get a job now so he’ll have some money in the bank for this upcoming transition. He didn’t agree to do so, but I think I made a good case. I guess I’m just feeling there are things I need to say and do in the months ahead in order to feel like I tried my best to get him ready for independence. I suppose we’ve been doing that all his life—but it’s crunch time now.

Incidentally, Brenden was not allowed to stay at home while we were away these 4 days. We had to tell him that since he doesn’t even obey the house rules when we’re there, we didn’t trust him to obey them when we were gone. He said, “Where am I supposed to stay?” I said, “You know all those weekends when you’re out all night and we don’t know where you are? Stay there!” The next day I asked if he had any hard feelings about not being able to stay at home. He mumbled something like, “Grrmmmh.” So I just said, “Hakunah Matata, right?” He laughed! I think his philosophy might come in handy sometimes.

One last picture is of the Channel Islands at sunset, as seen on our drive home. The photo doesn't really do it justice.

Well, this is long enough so I’ll close. Thank you for your care and prayers.